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So I have spent the last week looking for the ideal breakfast. I can hear you go yeah, big deal, I’ve spent it looking for the ideal job or the ideal partner. Point taken but breakfast is no trifling matter.

Mainly because everywhere you look there’s a fierce expert shouting at you: You self harming fool, this the most important meal of the day! It’s the key to nutrition Nirvana! If you’re not doing it right you might as well jump off a building right now and hope you’ll be all right.

So my all time favourite breakfast used to be toast. Oh, big no no. Caloric bomb, think again.

Then there’s cereals. Which all my life I found a form of torture. One I had lately come to grudgingly accept only to be told that they are in fact bad for you. Cheerio then:)! We part with no regrets.

Have some spinach, says Jamie Oliver. Yeah, right. Cause everybody loves getting out the big pan at sunrise, lighting the fires and then proceeding to spend the best part of an hour cooking up a green paste (no offense to spinach lovers, but I can’t think of anything less appealing at 8 o’clock in the morning. )

Ok you fuss bag, then have an egg white omelette with canola oil and blueberries. Of course I will. And while I’m at it, I’ll also write my resignation letter cause I need three days and two plane tickets to first find out what canola is and then go get the blueberries.

So in desperation I surveyed some people yesterday. What do you eat for breakfast, I begged, hoping for the ultimate truth. Eggs, cheese, zatar, hummus, fried tomatoes they said.

Tasty stuff but labour intensive innit? And how about the calories count, I said? By this point my advisors had left the building having suffered attacks of boredom.

Gotta go now. Breakfast waits for no man.